Friday, May 05, 2006

The Two Pills

As the nonsensical red pill-blue pill bullshit argument, I was in a similar predicament for quite sometime now, say around 2 months. Though the consequences may have of course been different, a pain in the ass the choices were.

Had been longing for choice since January, hell everyone wants a choice. But a difficult choice, I doubt it. Choosing between IIT Delhi and XIMB was such a dilemma. Though for a few this would have been a "no brainer", it was nevertheless a career decision.


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A month of trying to find out about both institutes lead me nowhere. It was still a 50-50. I was beginning to wonder that a phase of the year where I should have been at peace was turning out to be a nightmare. There's nothing worse than not knowing what might happen next, but yet knowing it is in your control. But this is what everyone ultimately strives for and accomplishes. But this is my heart speaking out here, not the tiny cerebrum.

My thinking started to make me ponder on if me having the choice in the first place was good at all. Just give me anything, but give me one. All through my life whenever I've had opportunities coming at me they have been in twos. Everything. The list is innumerable.
It would be dry for ever, and suddenly out of the blue two bolts of lightening striking the same dumb ass. All maybe for the good and but I don't wanna belive in all the philosophical crap, except when it is advantageous in any argument of course.

So all my top sources and higher up Managers recommended XIM, but all coaching institutes and students preferred IIT D. My emotions used to run wild. My friends and family got the brunt of it. Wanted to quit work badly, but that's not reason enough to join XIM (since XIM=June, IIT D=July).
The location and cos played a significant role in my final decision ultimately as a few unbiased objective analyses from people in the field pointed towards the Capital.

My choice was clear and was at peace finally. As always "Never get too comfortable" with anything yea? The IIT Delhi waitlist moved only 4. Four!! Could you believe it? That is like unprecedented. Last year it moved till 55. Either this insti is rocketing upwards or plummeting down was the only thought running through my mind.

So I was literally refusing to accept reality and still praying daily for a place at Delhi (Delhi..Did you get that? Not IIT Delhi, was still hoping for IIFT like a brainless idiot in hope-and to think I detest that kind).

Then the day the WL clearence was going to be announced officially the WL had suddenly moved all the way to 30. Jumped from 10 to 30 in a day. I was well placed at 17, a supposed easy walkthrough number.
My first reaction was skeptical, 20 in a day, after It had moved only 4 for the past month?? What the hell? Dal me kuch tho kala hai!!

Then the clarification came in waves from the seniors. They had offered me a course in Telecom Management. I was now rolling in laughter, this is hilarious stuff man. They offered me a course I didn't even apply for. hmm.. And there were seniors asking me to take it up, without a second thought. The problem here was not the course itself; as it turns out it aint too different from their regular program except for a few credits. But what about the "Telecom" tag I repeatedly asked. "What about it? You should be grateful to get into IIT man." That did it.
The course is great but was I willing to go back to a tag on me-"telecom" a field from which I have been running for the past 6 years.

I had finally thought Management was in for me, the domain could be decided later, and then this..

I suddenly realized the choice I had till now had been snatched away. I no more had two institutes at hand, a single lone location stood in front. I don't know whether it was destiny as some morons like to say (I am also in that list sometimes, though no one attacks that line of thought as effectively as I do). Meet the contradiction junta.

As a conclusion would you believe it that when I filled for the XIM application back in December, I knew that I would maybe not perform well enough to get into the elite top 10 and would land up at XIM (this feeling didn't come even when I applied to IIT-D, IIT-Kgp and MICA).

As always I am happy that things don't happen easily. Looking fwd to a different kind of two years finally.

Destiny..What a pile of crap!!